Day 2

Got a phone call from the hospital this morning--they said the doctor, Dr. Deveraj (?) wanted to put Sarah on Lexapro and needed my approval.  I told them, if the doctor thinks that's what she needs to be on, then go ahead and do it.  Silly me, though, forgot to ask how Sarah did overnight.  So, I called back and asked how she did (talked to the same person I had hung up with a bit earlier)--she slept all night--hallelujah!  I was so afraid she would have nightmares and get scared!  Phew!  Then, I got Sarah's school stuff together for Alan to take down to the hospital for her.  Got a sweet email from Christy S.--I had emailed her last night to tell her what was going on.  She then sent another email a bit later saying she felt like she needed to come up and be with me this weekend.  I told her I didn't know if it was necessary--even though all this is going on, life marches on, and ours is supposed to be busy this weekend.  I told her I'd leave it up to her and we could talk about it on the phone later in the afternoon.

Later, as I was getting ready to leave to go to the orthodontist (for the appt I missed yesterday), Gina called to set up a time for our first Family Meeting.  I suggested 2:00, trying to think of what Alan had going on.  He has a meeting, but it should be over by 12.  Also, while I was in the shower before I left, Ben called and left a message for me to call him back about Sarah's discharge procedures and post-psychiatric care.  I called him back while I was on my way to the orthodontist, but he couldn't talk then.  No problem--I was just calling to tell him I couldn't talk right now, either, and that I would call him after I got home.  I called a couple of times and left a message, but didn't hear back from him--hopefully, he'll call back tomorrow (ok, today, since it IS 2am now...sigh).  Then, I started thinking, why did I schedule Family Meeting time for 2?  We can't go see Sarah until 6.  So, called Gina back to try to reschedule.  I finally got her back on the phone this evening after I left the hospital. Changed the meeting to 4pm  :)

Once I left the orthodontist (in the pouring down rain!), Allison and I ran to Staples to pick up a couple of things, then went to the Dollar Store to look for a calendar for my door organizer.  No luck on the calendar, but we did find a teddy bear that she wanted to get for Sarah...awww!!!  (Got one for Allison, too--only $1!)  Then, I took Allison to the Asian Buffet for lunch--I felt like she deserved a special treat for being so mature about everything that is happening.  Unfortunately, I wasn't much of a conversationalist at lunch--I just had too much on my mind with Sarah.  Lunch was pretty good, but we decided we like Hibachi better  ;)  

After lunch, we went back out in the pouring down rain.  Was going to go to Walmart to look for a few things, clothes-wise, to take to Sarah at the hospital, but wanted to get home to call Christy and LeAnn, who had heard from Alan a little bit about what was going on.  Had an awesome conversation with both Christy and LeAnn--I'm so blessed with such wonderful friends!!!  Thank you, Lord!!!  Got a bit of work done during this time, too, then it was almost time to take Allison to dance....oh, wait!  I almost forgot!  Sarah's clothes for the hospital!  I ran upstairs...then back downstairs, so I could run the dryer some more...then back upstairs, to pack some things for her.  Hmmm...most of her clothes either wouldn't work, due to hospital regulations on clothes, or were nice enough that I didn't want to take them to the hospital, for fear of not seeing them again.  Hmmm...take Allison to dance, then run to Gabe's or KMart to see if they have anything I could take to her.

Off to dance.  Dropped Allison off (15 minutes late!).  Yikes!  Not much time for clothes shopping!  I decided to hit KMart, rather than Gabe's, simply b/c Gabe's is so large, it takes a long time to find what you want there...I didn't have time!  Ran to KMart, just down the street.  Mom called while I was there, and I talked to her while I shopped--she had called and told Kathy and Nicole what was going on.  Left KMart a few minutes later, empty-handed.  Hung up with Mom, so I could get to the hospital...it was almost 6:00, and I didn't want to be late!

When I came into the hospital, of course, I had to go to the bathroom.  Then, I went to the desk and asked about the procedure.  The lady said she recognized me and knew who I was, but they had to have Sarah's ID #--protocol.  Fortunately, I had put it in my phone, so I wouldn't lose it.  They weren't quite ready to take the "visitors" upstairs when I arrived (the kids weren't back on the floor from dinner), but we went up a few minutes later.  I was anxious to see how Sarah would be when I got there.  Once I had turned in her suitcase for approval, I signed in and waited for her to be brought out.  She came out a minute later with a smile on her face and came over and hugged me!  I just didn't know what her reaction was going to be--would she be angry with me for putting her there?  Would she cry and beg me to take her home?  Would she be ok?  SO glad for the great reaction!  She then took me to her room, as though she'd been there for a long time.  As we walked past a couple of girls, she spoke to them by name--she had met people!  Yesterday, she had told me she didn't like meeting new people, so I told her not to introduce herself to anyone.  What else do you say?  So glad that she had met people!  She also had a roommate, whose name is also Sarah!  My Sarah told me that her roommates birthday is this Saturday and that she (her roommate) was sad she would be in the hospital over her birthday, especially since she was supposed to go to NY for her birthday  :(  My Sarah said she wished she could bring cupcakes to Sarah for her birthday (no food allowed, unfortunately).  I told her that maybe she could sing Happy Birthday to her.  Sarah said she didn't know if she would still be there to do that--she thinks she may get to go home on Friday; she told the doctor that she has a ballet rehearsal on Saturday that she needs to go to.  She then showed me the drawing that her roommate did on the wall--one wall has chalkboard paint on it--very cool!  I stepped out to check on something that I had brought to Sarah and Alan had arrived.  Sarah took us both back to her room.  Oh, yes, her bed was now made--I had her make it (I know it's supposed to be made)--she said it was unmade b/c she had been resting in her bed a bit ago  ;)

Alan brought in a card from Darlene and a card from himself, and I got the cards out of her suitcase from her ballet class and from Allison.  They had to take Allison's off the bracelet it was hanging on (policy).  Unfortunately, she couldn't keep the stuffed bear that Allison sent--no stuffed animals on Level 1.  Sarah sat all of her cards neatly on the table by her bed after reading them (the nurse had to check them to make sure they were all appropriate).  We then talked about her day (and the night before)--she was up a lot during the night, blowing her nose, which kept her roommate awake (kind of).  She and her roommate were both awake around 6am and Sarah said she even saw some of the sunrise out her window.  Apparently, someone came and took blood from her this morning, too, which, of course, almost made her sick (she does NOT do well with this).  Then a man (don't remember his name) came around and woke everyone up at 7:45am!  I know she was hating this!  She went to breakfast with everyone, but didn't like what they were having (scrambled eggs w/ cheese baked on top)--she had toast.  At some point today, she also had a couple pieces of bread and some Mandarin oranges.  Well, at least she's eating a little bit!  Other activities she told us she did--school (she didn't get to do the work I sent; the teacher didn't realize it was there); recreation (she watched others play pool); arts & crafts (she didn't make anything--she was getting ready to and someone came and got her to talk to her--Gina???); group therapy, where they had to tell everyone why they were there (very proud of her for being able to vocalize her actions); she talked to her doctor; she talked to Gina; her new medicine; she spent some time just hanging out in her room doing nothing; she's read her paperwork twice; and I guess she rested some, too (I know she did--when I called to check on her this morning, the nurse told me she was resting).  The nurse brought in the clothes that Sarah could keep there--a few of the things I brought were not approved, so I need to hit Walmart tomorrow for a couple of things--no underwire bras, no yoga pants (Sarah's favorite thing to wear!).  Sarah told us she wants to go home, so she can sleep in her own bed, with her own pillow (I can't bring her pillow to her), but we reminded her that she can't come home until she's all better--she seemed to understand.  Alan brought along some cards, in case she wanted to play cards, but she didn't feel like it.  I also tried to put her earrings back in her ears, to see if the holes had closed up--sadly, they already had  :(  I'll keep the earrings and hopefully, the pediatrician will put them back in and not charge me full price.  I also checked with the nurses to see if they were giving her or could give her something for her cold, especially when it is what put her in the hospital!  They talked about possibilites--I hope they figured out something to give her, so she can sleep better tonight!  We sat and chit-chatted for the rest of the time.  I was able to get a picture of her--I decided to do it b/c she was sitting there smiling--so glad to see her happy!  I'll have to try to load the picture in later  ;)  All too soon, it was 7:00, time for us to go.  Sarah hugged and kissed us good-bye.  I was very proud of myself for not crying!  We rolled out her suitcase with us, with the "inappropriate" items inside.  I'll try to bring the stuffed animals back again, in case they let her have them  ;)

As soon as I got to the car, Gina called--we were able to reschedule tomorrow's appt for 4pm, instead of 2, which means I won't have to stay in Kanawha City for as long betweeen her appt and visiting hours.  :)  Then, went back to dance studio to pick up Allison and tell Kristen and Kara what was going on.  I also decided to tell Grace W-M, since she and Sarah are best friends and don't like to keep secrets from each other.  I was so glad I had taken the picture of Sarah, b/c I was able to show Grace that Sarah is doing ok  :)  Also talked to Susan W-M about everything and felt even better after all her reassurances.  Before we left the dance studio, Sarah called me.  She hadn't thought she could make a phone call, since she is on Level 1, but the nurse said she can, that these poor kids come in, are told all that they can't do b/c they're on Level 1, and they don't think they can do anything.  She said she would let Sarah know she could make a phone call. Anyways, she called--actually, "Brenda" called and said she had Sarah there, who wanted to talk to me, so I accepted the call.  She says, "Hey, can you bring my black makeup bag with all my makeup when you come back?"  Glad it was something normal she said when she called!  I asked her which makeup she wanted (I know they won't let me bring in that huge bag w/ a mirror on it) and she said all of it.  I'll figure out something else to put it in ;)  I asked her if she wanted to talk to Allison, but she said, "No."  When I asked her why, she said, "It'll make me cry."  Awww, she does love and miss her sister!  Knowing that Allison wanted to talk to her, I told Sarah, "No, you won't cry, you'll be fine.  Just say Hi to her."  She agreed and I called Allison over.  They chatted for a couple of minutes--Allison asked her if she was ok and if she was having fun.  Then she gave the phone back to me, so I could make sure Sarah didn't need anything else, and make sure she wasn't crying (she wasn't, thank goodness!).  Said I'd see her tomorrow and I missed her and love her.  Also told her that Grace W-M said Hi and that she misses her--that made Sarah feel good  ("awww!").  Said good-bye again and love you; she said I love you, too.

We left, picked up McD's for Allison, and went home to finish the evening.  The late night ended with a session with Allison discussing all of her fears and worries in life...phew!  My poor baby!  The thoughts the poor child has!  Say an extra prayer for her, too!  She's always been my worry wart  :(

My thoughts on the day--another exhausting emotional day.  I've cried a lot of tears today, but most of them have not been about Sarah--I know she's where she belongs!  We pray that this helps her to make some really positive changes in her life!  The tears I've cried today have been shed because of all the people who have told me they are praying for me, for Sarah, for my family, reassuring us that we've made the right decision; that Christy was willing to come here to be with me; that my friends care about us so much.  Tonight, I feel no fear or apprehension about Sarah--I know it's because of all the prayers that have been sent up for all of us!  I know, 100%, that I made the right decision when we had her admitted to the hospital, as hard as it was to do.  I pray that this hospital stay will make her a more confident person, help her to have better coping skills, give her a desire to better herself, and help her realize how loved she is and how wrong it would be to end her life.  With that, I will sign off here, now that it's 3:15am--WAY past time for bed!!!  I know I will be able to go to bed and sleep peacefully...we're covered in prayer and love!